The STEMM Doctors Blog

Introduction

Hi everyone, we’re excited to introduce the birth of our blog. We will be writing to you, our family beyond family, with stories from our hearts and lives. Look forward to diverse communications of life’s joys, sorrows, mixed musings, and likely some helpful tips and tricks along the way. With love, Bri & Urs

 

Cute little cages
By Bri


I’ve been in a slower season of my life. Not that it is not hectic. Oh no, I’m often running from thing to thing all day and crash my head onto my pillow at night and don’t move a muscle until my alarm goes off in the morning. When I say slower, I mean less productive in the world of capitalistic production of units of value for which I receive monetary compensation. There is an argument to be made that I’ve been very productive in the sense that I’ve had two children during this time, but that is a topic for a future blog.

Talking with my coach, who I try to see weekly over Zoom, I realized that I’m feeling driven to break free. Hearing Queen’s “I want to break free,” Ariana Grande’s “Break free,” and Alessia Cara’s “Wild Things” like running tracks in my mind. We did an exercise where I was visualizing my inner self and what I want. I saw myself as two. One child-like, and relatively peaceful and restful. And, also sitting quietly within a domed cage made of straw-like sticks. Some bearing small leaves of early growth. The other is a bit like a solider, monitoring the cage, ensuring the child-like one is safe, secure, and controlled. The child-like one is starting to sing. She is humming, “I wanna break free.” During the visualization, I had an epiphany that this cage is not built to withstand strong forces, even those of a child-like being. The cage is weirdly cute, and little. Kind of like my child-like version of me.

Now, I’m visualizing the child-like version of me, starting to slowly untwine the lashings that hold the twigs of this bird nest-like cage. I start with one toward the base. Maybe tomorrow I’ll work on one near the top. I slowly see the cage start to loosen, to unravel. Soon, the steady beat of Ariana Grande’s lyrical voice singing “Break free” starts to waft over the scene. Breaking free is coming. And it feels inevitable.

Hello fellow Moms in the STEMM world!

During one of the weekly meetings with Bri, we came up with the idea to start a Blog – something that perhaps may seem a bit dated at this point, but let me back up. We have a podcast, as some of you may know, called “Thriving Women in STEMM”. We took a two year pause on it when Bri had her second baby and had every intention of coming back to it. When that time came, we started to create new episodes, but somehow it didn’t have the same sense of ease it once had. We considered different angles and several additional attempts, but it wasn’t working. We then asked ourselves the same question we often ask our coaching clients “what would feel good and easy at this point in our lives?” The answer that resonated was sharing with you all through writing. We hope you enjoy and get value out of this as we have!

Versions of Ourselves
By Urs

Today’s inspiration comes from my own personal acceptance of where I currently am in life. I’m no longer in an academic setting. I’m no longer working 3 jobs and juggling multiple research projects. I’m no longer sacrificing sleep for work and congratulating myself on the grit I can pull from. I am no longer the version of me from 2 years ago when we recorded our last podcast episode. I’m a much calmer and intentional version of myself. I value free time and rest. I value the small experiences with my kids. I value nutrition and brain health. All of these things were secondary not too long ago. But as life goes on, I let my experiences and wisdom evolve.

The evolution I experienced came from the core question I ask anyone I coach – what are your current values? Not the values you had decades ago or even a couple of years ago – ask what resonate with you today. Give yourself permission to ask yourself again – do I want to keep choosing this life? If I had the choice, what would I want to keep and what am I willing to let go of that no longer fits? The letting go piece of the equation is often the hardest and what often needs additional support. We get used to the comfort of the old version of ourselves, like a well-worn in sweatshirt. There is comfort in the known and the old beliefs that are easy to think. But it can come at a price - internal conflict and dissonance. The true and current version of ourselves deeply desires something that our past selves would never allow for. That’s the work my friends. Letting go isn’t easy, but it is some of the best work we can all do. When the old beliefs are shed, a truer version of us get to shine through.